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  JOHN WHOPPER IN CHINA, By the _Air-Line_ Route.]

  JOHN WHOPPER AT THE NORTH POLE.]

  JOHN WHOPPER

  THE NEWSBOY.

  WITH ILLUSTRATIONS.

  BOSTON: ROBERTS BROTHERS. 1871.

  Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by

  ROBERTS BROTHERS,

  In the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington.

  Stereotyped and Printed by ALFRED MUDGE & SON, Boston, Mass.

  CHAPTER I.

  HOW JOHN WHOPPER DISCOVERED THE AIR-LINE TO CHINA.

  Two years ago last February, I think it was on a Tuesday morning, Istarted as usual very early to distribute my papers. I had a largebundle to dispose of that day, and thought that if I took a short cutacross the fields, instead of following the road from Roxbury to JamaicaPlain, I could go my rounds in much less time. I do not care to tellprecisely where it was that I jumped over the fence; but it is a rough,barren kind of spot, which nobody has ever done any thing to improve.

  After walking about a third of a mile, I began to think that I hadbetter have kept to the turnpike; for I found that I was obliged toclamber over an uneven, rocky place, among trees and bushes and shrubs,that grew just thick enough to bother me, so that I hardly knew where toput my feet. All at once I lost my balance, and felt that I was slidingdown the side of a smooth, steep rock; while underneath, to my horror, Isaw what looked like a circular cave, or well, some five or six feet indiameter. I tried to grasp the rock with my hands, and ground my heelsas hard as I could against the surface, but it was of no use; down Islipped, faster and faster, until at last I plunged, feet foremost, intothe dark hole below. For a moment I held my breath, expecting to bedashed to pieces; and oh, how many things I thought of in that shortminute! It seemed as if every thing that I had ever done came back tome, especially all the _bad_ things; and how I wished then that I hadlived a better life! I thought, too, of my poor mother and my littlebrother and sister at home, and how they would wait breakfast for methat morning; and how they would keep on waiting and waiting, hour afterhour and day after day; and how the neighbors would all turn out andsearch for me; and how I should never be found, and nobody would everknow what had become of me. And then I wondered whether Mr. Simpson,who employed me to distribute the papers, would suppose that I had runaway somewhere, to sell them on my own account; and so I went onthinking and wondering, until it seemed as if there was no end to thetime. And yet I didn't strike the bottom of the cave, but just went onfalling and falling, faster and faster, in the darkness, and sometimesjust grazing the sides, and still not so as to hurt me much. My greattrouble was to breathe; when it occurred to me to lay the sleeve of mycoat across my mouth: and then I found that I could breathe through thecloth with tolerable ease. After a while, I recovered my senses; andthough I continued to fall on still faster and faster, I experienced nogreat inconvenience. How long this continued, I cannot tell; itappeared to be an age; and I must have been falling for several hours,when I began to feel as though I was not sinking as fast as I had been;and after a while, it seemed as if I were rising up, rather thantumbling down. As I was now able to breathe much more freely than I haddone, I began to think calmly about my condition; and then the thoughtflashed across my mind, that perhaps I had passed the centre of theearth, and was gradually rising to the surface on the other side. Thisgave me hope; and when I found that I continued to move slower andslower, I tried to collect my faculties, so that I might know just whatit would be best to do, if I should be so fortunate as to reach theother end of the hole into which I had tumbled. At last, looking down,I saw a little speck of light, like a very faint star; and then, I tellyou, my heart bounded with joy. At this moment it suddenly occurred tome that it would not do to come out of the hole _feet foremost_; and, bya tremendous effort, I managed to turn a complete summersault,--what theboys always called a _somerset_,--which, of course, brought me into theright position. How thankful I felt that I had been taught to practisegymnastic exercises at the school in Roxbury! In my present attitude Icouldn't see the bright spot any longer: but, before long, I perceivedthat it was growing lighter around me; and I was confident that the timeof my release drew near. I had determined exactly what I would do whenI reached the surface of the earth again; and, accordingly, on theinstant that my head came out of the hole, I grasped the edge with allmy might, and, by another terrible effort, swung myself up into the air,and leaped upon the ground.

  It is impossible to describe the strange thrill that passed over me whenI thus found myself standing on what I knew must be the eastern side ofthe globe. As soon as I had fairly recovered the use of my reason, Ibegan to speculate as to the region of the country into which I emerged.If I had come directly through the centre of the earth, I knew, ofcourse, just where I ought to be; but this hardly seemed possible,considering how short a time it had required for my journey. It thenoccurred to me that I was really unable to form any accurate idea ofthe number of hours that had elapsed since I left the soil ofMassachusetts; for, before I had fallen a hundred feet, a whole ageappeared to have passed. I knew that it was about six o'clock in themorning when I started; and, on looking at my watch, I found that it hadstopped at 6.45, owing, as I afterwards ascertained, to the influence ofmagnetic currents upon the hair-spring.

  The country around was in a high state of cultivation, except in theimmediate vicinity of the spot where I stood. This was rough and barren,and so situated that the small cavity in the earth from which I had justbeen released, would be very likely to escape observation. Thinking thatit might be important for me to be able hereafter to identify thelocality, I took a careful observation of its general bearings, andtwisted together a few of the twigs that grew near the hole, but in sucha manner as would not be likely to arrest attention.

  Striking off now at random, I soon found myself in a low, marshy region,covered with a species of grain unlike any thing I had ever seen before,but which I concluded must be rice; and then the thought came to me,that very probably I was in China. After walking for an hour or two, Ireached a rising ground, and saw in the distance an immense city on thewater's edge; which from its position, and resemblance to certainpictures that I had once seen in Boston, I believed to be Canton.Refreshing myself with some fruit that grew by the wayside, I startedoff in haste, in order, if possible, to reach the city before nightfall.Just as the sun was setting, I entered what appeared to be one of themain streets; when, tired and hungry and footsore, I began to thinkseriously what I should do to procure food and lodging. Here I was,--apoor boy in a strange land, unable to address a word to the peoplearound me, and with only a few cents and two or three bits of papercurrency in my pocket, that could be of no value in that country. _Whatwas I to do?_ Just then I came to a large and respectable-lookingbuilding; and over the door there was this sign, in good plaincharacters:--

  "ENGLISH AND AMERICAN COFFEE-HOUSE."

  Tears of joy filled my eyes. In an instant, I said to myself, "Yourfortune is made, old fellow! Here you have thirty or forty Bostonnewspapers, not twenty-four hours old, strapped around your neck; and Irather think they will be in some demand in Canton."

  With a light heart I now entered the office of the hotel, and threw downmy bundle, with a good, black-leather covering around the papers, sothat it looked like an ordinary piece of luggage, which gave me theappearance of a regular traveller; then called for a room, and orderedsupper. It was true that I had very little money in my possession,--notenough, certainly, to pay my bill at the hotel; but no questions wereasked, and I gave myself little co
ncern as to the future. I had afirst-rate appetite, and ate voraciously.

  After supper was over, I took my bundle in my hand, and strolledleisurely into a pleasant and spacious room, where a number ofgentlemen--English and American--were sitting around in groups, somechatting together, and others reading the London and New York and Bostonpapers. Among them I recognized the face of a merchant whom I had seenseveral times in State Street; and slinging the strap over my shoulderin a careless, every-day sort of tone, just as any newsboy would havedone at home, I went up to him and said, "Have the morning papers,Mister?--'morning papers?'--'Advertiser,' 'Journal,' 'Post,' 'Herald,'last edition,--published this morning, _only five dollars_!" Everybodyin the room looked up, for I managed, as newsboys generally do, to speakloud enough to drown every other sound; but no one uttered a word. Itwas evident that they thought I was crazy, or something worse; and so Ijust cried out again, "Have the morning paper, sir?" at the same timethrusting a copy of "The Advertiser" into his hand. He looked like an"Advertiser" kind of man,--well dressed and highly respectable.

  Involuntarily his eye glanced at the date,--"Tuesday, Feb. 16, 1867";and then, in an excited, quivering tone, he said, "Let me look at yourother papers." There was a long table in the centre of the room, which Iapproached; and, slowly unfolding my bundle, I laid a few of the paperswide open in front of the gentlemen, who crowded around in the higheststate of excitement. Still there was dead silence; when one of themsuddenly burst out with the exclamation, "Good heavens! Here is a noticeof the arrival of 'The Golconda' at New York, with a full account of thecargo, and every thing else correct. Why, this must be genuine!"

  One after another followed with a cry of surprise at some news whichthey had found; until, in a few minutes, every gentleman in the room wasabsorbed in reading the papers, appearing to have entirely forgotten allabout me, and not caring to ask how it was that I had brought them toChina in less than twenty-four hours. After I had stood there whistlingcarelessly as long as I thought worth while, I spoke up in a loudvoice, and said, "Well, gentlemen, you seem to be enjoying the newspretty well. I hope you don't mean to forget to pay for thepapers,--_only five dollars a copy_!"

  At this speech every one of them looked at me with a strange expression,as if they hardly knew whether I was a real human boy or something else;when the Boston gentleman said, "How on earth did you get these papershere?" To which I answered very carelessly, "I didn't get them here _on_earth."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I will tell you what I mean, and answer your questions, after you havepaid me _five dollars each; and cheap at that, considering_."

  "Indeed it is, for me at least," said one of the gentlemen. "What I havelearned from this paper is worth to me, in a business way, thousands ofdollars"; and with that he came forward and put a hundred into my hand,in the good, solid form of gold-pieces. His example had its effect uponthe others. Instead of the two hundred which I had hoped to receive formy forty newspapers, I was actually in possession of not lessthan--well, I don't care to tell exactly how much, on account of theincome-tax.

  "Come, now," said the gentlemen, almost in one breath, "tell us howthese papers came to China."

  "I brought them myself."

  "When did you leave America?"

  "The morning when these papers were printed: but how long ago that was,I really don't know, as my watch stopped while I was on my voyage; onlyI thought it was just as well to call out, as I always used to do athome, 'Morning paper!' although, perhaps, for all I can tell, they maybe two or perhaps three days old; anyhow, I guess you find them a gooddeal fresher than the rest you have got on hand."

  Having delivered myself of this somewhat protracted speech, I beganmoving towards the door with the air of one who had said every thingthat could reasonably be expected, in reply to the curious inquiries ofmy liberal patrons, when the Boston merchant motioned for me to stop,saying with some severity, "Did you not promise that you would informthe company how these papers came from America to China in such anincredibly short period of time, whenever you should have received yourpay for the same?"

  "Yes, sir; and I just told you that I brought them over--not exactly_over_--but--in short, I brought them here."

  "You say, 'not exactly _over_'; do you mean by that phrase to beunderstood to say that you did not come over land?"

  "Your honor has hit my meaning precisely."

  "You don't pretend to say that you came by water?"

  "Far from it, sir."

  "How then, _under the heavens_, did you come?"

  "I didn't come under the heavens at all."

  "I don't believe," said the irritated gentleman, turning to hiscompanions, "that the fellow came at all; he must be lying."

  All the answer that he received was the rustling of forty newspapers,bearing the imprint, "February 16, 1867, Boston." There was no gettingover this.

  After a pause of several minutes, during which a bright idea entered mymind, I came forward into the circle, and said, "Well, gentlemen, I wantto see if I can make a good bargain with you; and when that is settled,I will tell you how I came over--I mean, I will tell you how I got here;that is, I will tell you _the route_ that I took. If I can arrange forthe delivery in Canton of the New York and Boston daily papers, withinthirty-six hours of the time when they are issued in those cities, willyou all promise to give me your generous patronage?"

  "Of course we will," they cried all together.

  "Very well; then I pledge myself to appear again in this place one weekfrom this day, ready to carry out my part of the bargain. And now, inbidding you good-night, allow me to inform you that I came from Americato China by the _air-line_."

  With this I retired at once to my room, and was soon sleeping soundly.

  I knew that I should be watched so closely the next day as to make itimpossible for me to escape without detection; and accordingly I got upan hour or two before daylight; and, having laid upon the table in myroom an amount of money which I supposed would be considered a faircompensation for my supper and lodging, I tied the sheets together, andlowered myself down into the then silent and deserted street. It was notlong before I found myself once more in the open country; and lookingcarefully for the twisted twigs that I had tied together the afternoonbefore, I soon discovered the chasm through which I had made myremarkable trip to the eastern hemisphere. Taking the precaution to tiea handkerchief over my mouth in order that I might economize my breath,I summoned all my courage, and leaped into the hole. My experiences wereprecisely the same as they had been in the previous journey; and incourse of a few hours, I found myself standing once more in thefamiliar outskirts of Roxbury, and gazing tenderly upon the solemn domeof Boston State House. As fast as my legs would take me, I rushed to mypoor mother's humble abode, longing to relieve the bitter agony to whichI knew she and my brother and sister must have been subjected during myabsence. It is not worth while for me to describe at length the scenethat ensued when I stood once more in the family circle, with mymother's arms around my neck, and the young folks bellowing with joy. Tothe frantic inquiries that were showered upon me as to what hadhappened,--where I had been,--had I had any thing to eat? I coollyreplied that I had not had much to eat; and, if they would give me agood, substantial supper, I would endeavor to relieve their minds.

  "Supper, indeed!" cried my good mother; "why, it's just after sunrise!You haven't lost your senses, I hope."

  "I beg your pardon; but it was about sunrise hours and hours ago, whenI--when I"--and here I faltered, not caring just then to let the wholefamily into my secret.

  "When you what?" said my mother, looking very anxious.

  "Why, when I left Canton," I now answered, very promptly.

  "You don't say that you have been to Canton?" she replied, but withoutany such show of astonishment as might have been expected.

  "Yes, I have, mother. It occurred to me that I could sell my papers tobetter advantage there than I could about here; and, indeed, I did, asyou may see." Whereupon I laid in
her good old hand such a sum of moneyas she had not clasped for many a day.

  "Did you get all this money by selling papers in Canton?"

  "I did, and a great deal more; which I am going to deposit by and by inthe Savings Bank to your credit."

  "There must be an awful demand for papers in Canton."

  "There is, mother; and they pay such high prices there, that I amthinking of setting up a news establishment in the place."

  "And did you _walk_ all the way to Canton day before yesterday, myboy?"

  "Then it was day before yesterday morning when I left home? I thought itwas longer ago than that."

  "Longer ago! Oh, dear, dear! you are not out of your head, my son?"

  "My good mother, I am as sound as you are. Only you know that sometimes,when we are very much occupied, the time passes quickly; and I have beenquite busy since I left you."

  "And did you say that you walked to Canton?"

  "No, mother, I didn't walk a step."

  "Then you took the Providence cars?"

  "Well, mother, it was a kind of a providence car."

  [John's statement at once relieved the old lady's mind; but those of ourreaders who are not intimately acquainted with the geography ofMassachusetts, may be somewhat puzzled at this. For the information offoreigners and uneducated people in general, we must mention that thereis a thriving village on the Boston and Providence railroad, about tenmiles from Roxbury, which rejoices in the name of Canton.

  It may here be observed, that the young man's mind had got into a kindof chronological muddle, and the days and nights were mixed up togetherin the most miscellaneous manner. We, who are competent to solve anyordinary problem, furnish our young readers with this explanation. Johnleft our American soil on Tuesday morning, at or about six o'clock. Heis twelve hours--there or thereabouts--passing through the earth. Thisbrings him to China also in the morning, as every thing is topsy-turvyon the other side of the globe. His walk to Canton fills up most of theday,--_Tuesday night here_. He sleeps in Canton one night. _Wednesdayhere_; leaves Canton, _via_ Air-Line, the next morning,--_Wednesdaynight here_; and arrives at Jamaica Plain on Thursday morning. Absentfrom home forty-eight hours; twenty-four consumed in travelling _via_Air-Line; twelve in pedestrian excursion through the Kwangtung countryin China; and twelve in pecuniary negotiations and sleep at the Britishand American Coffee-House, Canton. This makes every thing clear andconsistent. We would simply remark, that, when John first told us hissingular tale of adventure, we remarked that he seemed to have had avery small allowance of food, as he ate but one good meal in the wholeforty-eight hours. To which he replied in a rather lofty manner, whichrepressed all further comment on our part, that, when the mind wasfilled with great thoughts, it didn't require much to sustain the body.We should like to take John as a boarder. But he is now on his feetagain, and we let him speak for himself.]

  "As soon as I found myself alone with my young brother Bob,--a brightfellow he was, and quick at a bargain,--I told him in strict confidencethe whole story of my adventures, and then laid before him my plans forthe future, in carrying out which plans I should need his co-operation.

  "I am now going," said I, "to Mr. Simpson's office, and shall pay himhandsomely for the papers I have sold. I then propose to contract withhim for the New York and Boston daily papers, paying for six months inadvance, to be delivered to you every morning at half-past five o'clockprecisely. At six o'clock you will drop the bundle, carefully made upand nicely secured, as I shall direct Mr. Simpson, right through thecentre of the hole, to which I will direct you by and by,--always beingvery careful to let it fall from your hand at a height of four feetabove the surface of the earth; in which case it will, of course, risejust four feet _above_ the surface on the other side, and I shall beable to secure it without difficulty. I will pay you fifteen per cent onthe net profits of the enterprise for the first six months, which oughtto be regarded as a liberal compensation for the small amount of timethat you will be obliged to give to the work.

  "Now, Bob, listen to what I am about to say with strict attention. Onevery Saturday morning you must delay dropping your bundle for half anhour; and between six and half-past six o'clock, be on the carefullookout for a bundle _which I shall send to you_ from the other side.This will contain my remittance for the week, which I wish you todeposit to mother's credit in three places, the names of which I giveyou on paper. She can then draw from time to time such sums as she mayneed.

  "I shall remain at home for a few days and arrange to be in China nextMonday evening. On Tuesday morning you will forward the bundle ofpapers."

  "Are you going to tell mother and sister all about this?" said Bob.

  "No: it would only worry them. I shall merely say that I have a greatopening for making money, and shall be obliged to be absent from homefor several months."

  "I think," said Bob, chuckling,--Bob labored under the delusion that hewas a wag,--"that it _is_ a great opening, or rather, I might say, a_lengthy_ opening."

  Every thing was duly arranged according to the programme; and, on thefollowing Monday, I bade adieu for a while to the sweet light of day,--Idon't mean that I said exactly these words as I stood on the edge of thehole--but that is the way in which it would be expressed in abook,--and jumped boldly into the dark abyss. In due time I arrivedsafely in China, and took lodgings in a small country inn about twomiles off, as I did not care to show myself at the Canton Coffee-Houseuntil I had the papers in my possession.

  It was with a somewhat anxious heart that I went to my Air-Line Station,as I had taken a fancy to call it, on Tuesday evening.